Water Buckets For Charity

Water Bucket refugee camp in Myanmar

Most of our readers are unaware of The Water Bucket’s active role in international peacekeeping efforts, but in reality we do more to better the world than the UN. Since 2010 we have spent three million dollars researching how to bring Dodo birds back from extinction, two million on genetically modifying square-shaped bananas for hobos in Greenland, and almost a quarter of a million dollars on facial reconstruction surgery on cyber-bullied koalas. As groundbreaking as our work has been in these fields, our biggest project to date is the Myanmar refugee crisis. In the last three years, we have committed nearly 10 million dollars to saving the poor Myanmarians, and the results have been astounding.

We have sent nearly 5,000 troops to Myanmar, equipped with machine guns and rocket launchers, in order to blow up as many of the bad guys as we can. We have been wildly successful, with our troops killing nearly 300,000 Arabs (anyone wearing a Turban or speaking gibberish). We have also started a new project in each of our camps: giving jobs to Myanmar children. We have opened diamond mines and employ refugee children to work a generous number of hours (12+) earning nearly $3 per day (it may not sound like a lot, but we want to ensure that we have enough funds for each child to have a job). The older kids are given jobs as soldiers in our Arab-shooting militia, and they get played $1 per Arab. But enough about our generosity, let’s hear from a survivor of a real-life Water Bucket-sponsored Myanmar refugee camp who now lives in Idaho as a part-time potato farmer.

“The Water Bucket saved my life. At first they sent troops into my town and shot my dad for speaking Myanmarese, and thank Buddha they did because if they hadn’t I would not have gotten my first job. As a child, I had no money and no shoes, but the Water Bucket gave me a job. They paid me one nickel to fight my friends in daily shows for the camp. Now I have lots of battle scars and all my friends think I’m so cool.” - Nyunt Minh (yes he’s actually real, his snap is nyuxyu. Add him and ask)

We are proud of all the work The Water Bucket has done to save the Myanmarese people from those dirty Arabs, but we need your support. Please consider purchasing your next diamond wedding/engagement ring from us to save a Myanmar child’s life.