Enough is Enough
Throughout my life, I have always avoided purchasing a gun. I just was never able to detect a legitimate need to obtain a firearm, and, frankly, I just kind of hated the Constitution and everything about America (don’t get me started on white people). But now I’ve had it.
It’s been slightly longer than a month since the tragic shooting in Parkland. Since then, flocks of effeminate gun owners have been virtue signaling on social media platforms by disposing of their firearms. I have observed this epidemic evolve from its early stages, watching millions of law-abiding gun owners feel marginalized by the pseudo moral supremacy flaunted by their fellow gun owners.
With every AR-15 thrown away, I feel a painful twist in my heart. I have lived my entire life thinking that I was doing the right thing by not owning a firearm, but after last month’s shooting, I’ve decided enough is enough. In no world should my daughter have to go to school and listen to one of her peers bragging about his sanctimonious parent who threw away the family gun. So I went out and did what any honest non-gun owner would do, and bought an AR-15.
Her name is Susan, and she is beautiful. I shall never use Susan to harm innocent people. Although I agree that in some situations Susan’s friends have been promiscuous (that is, too easy to obtain), I sincerely believe in the power of the good people of America to exercise democratic power to devise a more sensical solution than getting rid of Susan and her gorgeous friends.
Though I am confident in my decision, I had to at least consider the other side. I realized that liberals have a fair point: if we take away guns from law-abiding citizens, it’s not like there will be an emergence of more powerful black markets! I mean, who needs to pay mind to the elementary rules of supply and demand in the first place? Those pesky conservatives and their logic! Thankfully, the teachers in our educational systems have a wide array of opinions regarding this topic, with no quantifiable tendency to lean to either side of the political spectrum. This will allow for more productive discussions between students of all theoretical stances, wherein the younger generations can finally settle on a rational solution.
I’ve said what I wanted to say. I will continue unfriending the self-righteous imbeciles on Facebook, and I will continue, as my favorite rappers like to say, “staying strapped and busting my gat.” I’m on my way to the range right now with my daughter, showing her that she has the same rights as any other American to bear arms. #Equality #RealFeminist